Zimbamwe Police gear possessed [Satire]

HARARE, Zimbabwe (Anonymous) - Zimbabwe's Police truncheons and Police boots are possessed by cunning, yet invisible colonial evil spirits claimed octogenarian President Robert Mugabe yesterday on Zimbabwe's national television - as he tried to explain the incident last week when main opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai was hospitalized after Police boots and truncheons found their way all over his body up to his head, almost splitting it open - as they uncontrollably pounded him into a pulp.

President Robert Mugabe has immediately sent an envoy to the Vatican in an attempt to plead with the pontiff to dispatch an army of priests and bishops to Zimbabwe as soon as possible to carry out an exorcism on the 'faulty' possessed Police combat gear. Apart from the truncheons and boots, some shotguns and teargas canisters also seem to be possessed as many Police officers have reported witnessing them with the eerie ability to explode on their own, whenever there seems to be a gathering of no more than 2 Zimbabwean's at any one place. The Holy See has promised to help the African country.

In the meantime President Mugabe is praying for the speedy recovery of Mr Tsvangirai.